Doppelganger

I've been running into the word "doppelganger" all over the place recently. First in the book "Atmospheric Disturbances" by Rivka Galchen. A good read by the way. And then just randomly in articles on the internet, blog posts.
Apparently, it's a German word that literally means "double goer" and refers to a double, or look-alike person. Wikipedia also says that it can describe the "sensation of having glimpsed oneself in peripheral vision, in a position where there is no chance that it could have been a reflection." I know I've had that sensation before. Not so much in the foreboding sense that Wikipedia further expounds on, but in one where I am momentarily outside of myself, looking into my life and self from a foreign place. It's such a rare thing--I can onlu think of twice when I've felt that way, and it always seems to be an objective contemplation of myself.

The mind is amazing. And scary. And awesome.

Happy 2009!

Best Of

What I like about the end og the year is all the "best of" lists that go out.
My Best Of Best Of lists are...

Last.FM: Best ofs for albums, artists, and tracks

Amazon: Books. Editor and costumer chosen lists

Rolling Stone: Need I say it....

CrunchGear: All the best (and a lil of the worst) techy bling a nerd could wish for!!

Time: The top ten of EVERYTHING in 2008

Actually....

I'm rather amazed at what all I've created, crafted, cooked and baked in the last couple weeks. Remove school from my life and good thing flow out of my brain and hands.

Life is good. And relaxed! That's the best part.

Photo photo photo

I don't know why I like words in sets of three.



My homage to Charlie Brown's Christmas tree. The mouse was hand sewn by Kyle's great grandmother for his 2nd Christmas.


Bittersweet that I found growing in the magnolia tree outside.


"Briar Berries." I don't know if they have an official name or anything, but they are pretty nonetheless.


Little red balls!


Lovely little glass candle holders from World Market (I love that place!).



My .75 cent clearance rosemary plant. Sure, it looks like a Christmas tree, but if I can perk it up, I'll have a great herb plant!



New favorite incense, Sandalwood. It smells so sweet.


One of my ribbon flowers. It only lacks a clip or hair comb of some sort.


My favorite ribbon flower hair comb!

Beethoven

Beethoven must have been a very "feeling" man, one of deep emotions that covered many ranges. How else would he create such music? Sure, talent and aptitude are needed, along with the standard genius factor, but without feeling, there is so meaning or depth, even worth, to any action or creation.

Anyway...the source of this observation is a love letter he wrote a mystery love.

"Good morning, on July 7
Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours"


His letter was edited down to this in the Sex and the City movie (I'm sorry, boredom and curiosity got the better of me!! But I did find this-->):

"My thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved. I can only wholly with you or not at all—
Be calm, my life, my all. Only by calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together. Oh continue to love me, never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours."

It's just so beautiful, be you in love or not. It speaks the truth of dedication that is in my heart.

Anyway. Enough of the overly romantic, sickeningly obnoxious love stuff.

I hope everyone had a relaxing and enjoyable Christmas!

I did make the cheese bread, and it was incredible! The changes I made were using half a package of normal yeast (the recipe called for instant......not sure if that's what I had or not...) in the sponge and the additional dough; adding crushed red pepper, basil, and oregano to the dough; doubling the cheese and mixing it with 1/4 cup garlic olive oil and some amount of parm. It could have used more cheese too, in my mind anyway, where more cheese is always better! :-)

Christmas Eve we had The Brothers (Kyle's brothers Jeremy and Alex) over for spanakopita and lots of beer! It was nice, and my spanakopita was amazing! I've proved that I can cook a mean meal! ;-)

I'm free from school until the 8th of Jan. In some ways I miss the academic control of my life, but on the other hand, free time is glorious! And the little extra income from additional work hours is nice too!

Goodnight all.

Shears

Kyle stole my cheap kitchen scissors. I demand stellar replacement.

Little Christmas Eve

My family has never been one with particular traditions for the holidays. This has been convient and easy, matching my family's laid-back personality and simplicity. However, the holiday was always special and set apart from the rest of the work and school days.

Now, this is my first Christmas outside of my family. Kyle's and my first Christmas married. In all the drastic changes that have occured this year, mainly my mother's death, it seems fitting that this is the first Christmas seperate from my family. They're in FL with my dad's mom, hopefully distracted and happy.

As it is our first Christmas, I want it to be special and create some type of tradition for us. Finding or creating one is kinda challenging! So I'm googling my heritage, Scandinavian, to see what holiday traditions are appealing! I doubt that I'll make lutefisk a part of our Christmases! I've got the pine decorations down...and the candles. Maybe that's all I'll glean from "the Old Country." At least for this year.

And what started this? The recollection that today is Little Christmas Eve! Another Scandinavian thing.

Wee!

December Spring Time!

Molly (a co-worker of mine here at the park) and I made a herb quick bread last night to give to our other co-workers. There is an over abundance of sugar-filled treats here, so we figured something without sugar would be the best choice. So, while I was searching for a quick bread recipe, I found this one for a yeast cheese bread.

Hot Cheese Bread: grip it and rip it and Gruyere Cheese Bread
The picture comes close to making me drool and immediately begin a rampage for cheese bread! I think I'll make some over Christmas when I have time off from work.

The weather has been absolutely crazy: first rainy and chilly, now warming up to in the 60's and partly cloudy.

Since sushi can only be consumed satisfactorily in warm weather, Kyle took me to Umi for lunch, where we feasted on spicy yellow tail tuna rolls and delightful salads with that good ginger dressing. My tummy and tongue are happy.

And, academically speaking, I passed my math class with a B! Yay!

The Good-morrow.

THE GOOD-MORROW.
by John Donne


I WONDER by my troth, what thou and I
Did, till we loved ? were we not wean'd till then ?
But suck'd on country pleasures, childishly ?
Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers' den ?
'Twas so ; but this, all pleasures fancies be ;
If ever any beauty I did see,
Which I desired, and got, 'twas but a dream of thee.

And now good-morrow to our waking souls,
Which watch not one another out of fear ;
For love all love of other sights controls,
And makes one little room an everywhere.
Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone ;
Let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown ;
Let us possess one world ; each hath one, and is one.

My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest ;
Where can we find two better hemispheres
Without sharp north, without declining west ?
Whatever dies, was not mix'd equally ;
If our two loves be one, or thou and I
Love so alike that none can slacken, none can die.

to do ado

Things to pursue or do...

Play with Photoshop and create glorious images (bahaha!)

Catch up on the Office, 30 Rock, etc, since my home internet is now restored!

Upload pictures of ribbon flowers and doodlings that filled my time while home-internetless.

Decide to buy or not to buy a Holga camera. Revision: Decide which one to buy. :-)

Create ribbon flowers for Sharon's bday/Christmas present

Play with my 35mm Canon camera.

See Akaisha.

Take a mini-trip to Asheville or Greenville.

Find snow.

Tetris *pop*

There was an interview of some artist guy on 60 Minutes last night. Usually I admire the artistic, and pull my own inspiration or thoughts from their work. But this guy was so condescending and arrogant that it completely made his work repulsive. When the reporter brought up a severe critic of the artist, the artist was offended and too upset to go on with the interview. Later on in the interview the reporter asked if the artist has a big ego. This guy looked at the reporter and told him that that was a rediculous question, implying "how in the world can you even think of asking me that?"
I say all that to say this: That guy took himself and his art too seriously. I think you can be serious about your art (or whatever you do), but when that seriousness takes over your amusment and joy, it's no longer enjoyable. Sure, this artist is some big thing, but he really didn't seem all that happy.

"Yarg!"

Well well well.

I hope that everyone had a splendid Thanksgiving! Kyle and I spent ours moving and then enjoyed a wonderful vegetarian feast prepared by Kyle's brother Alex. Alex will one day be a famous chef. I still have a turkey crave going on though.

We've moved quite successfully! It is so wonderful to hear the quiet of a house. I think I'm really a home-body...or least to the extent that I enjoy being at home when there's not anything appealing outside of my house.

I feel quite domesticated...on "Black Friday" Kyle and I went out and bought a washer and dryer. Wo0t!

Arg. I'm sick and tired and not inspired at all, despite the desire to nest in my house.

Yuck.