On perceptions

I think it was last night, I was laying in bed, in that contemplative, falling asleep state, when I suddenly realized that no one will ever know how I really perceive myself. Not even Kyle, who knows me better than anyone.

The self-image that I have of myself is that only, MY self image. It's strange to think about...

Sure, the way you perceive yourself is important to development, living a successful life (by success I mean content, happy, vibrant no matter come what may), and projecting who you are, but no one will ever see you the way you see you. They may come close, but can never really see it the way you do.

And vice versa.

Just a thought from a sleepy head.

Hello little blog! Have you missed me?

Lately I've been on a reading frenzy! Reading 'real" books made of paper, ink, and glue! It's been very nice and refreshing. I used to read for hours each day when I was growing up, not distracted by the internet, sitcoms, and tv shows on demand, other people's blogs, back when my time wasn't claimed by work or school, or even Kyle.

I've quickly read Slowness by Kundera, Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins, and am currently in the midst of Villa Incognito also by Robbins. The Time Travelers Wife is next on my list.

There's something substantial about reading a book. My time doesn't feel as wasted away. I guess b/c I can look at the book and see my progress, see a measurement of accomplishment.

Also, it seems appropriate for the spring-like weather. More active, in a sedimentary way, than eyes being stuck to a flickering computer screen.

I highly recommend Kundera and Robbins to anyone looking for a read. Kundera especially.

Anyway, I hope everyone is alive and thriving. Spring is here and it's good to active, mentally and physically.

spring wants...

There's something about nice weather that makes me want to throw wisdom and responsibility to the warm wind, and go laze about for days on end; eating sushi and reading poetry, sitting on top of my loved mountains, driving with windows down, loving the warmth that still lingers in the evening. But math classes and lack of funds sadly stand firm in my way.
So I sit indoors, feeling the breeze as it comes through the windows, and read poetry online (books are much more satisfying), Twitter, and read news.

Up

I love the dog's dialogue in this. I think it's co,ing out in 2010?

rocks and sticks and butterflys, oh my!

as children, when we found amazing treasures, either in nature or as a gift received, we would show off our treasure, eager to share its wonder with everyone around, yet still guarding and keeping it close.
i see this instinctual habit manifested in grown-up life as well, though more often than not void of all innocence. it's in the showing off of the new car, the flat screen tv, a big house with too many rooms, the many trips.
the pure joy of showing and sharing has grown into a ugly, materialistic contest.
how sad.
i am glad that i know people who are the exception to this evolution. and they live happier than those with many toys.

whiteness

I'm pretty convinced that February knew I was tired and sick of her (of course she's a she...who else would turn so vindictive?), and persuaded March to turn rather cold and send down blasts of snow on my poor house.
Still...it is so pretty and rather peaceful, and if I get a day or so off from work and school, it will all be worth it. :-)
The mountain that is directly across from my front window is hidden by the white snow, and the usually black, bare trees have turned grey. It's really pretty, and I'm content to sit and sew, or piddle away on my laptop, occasionally visiting Kyle where he sits occupied with his computer and headphones. We are very much a 21st century couple!
It's a good, lazy day.