While I wasn’t raised with Amish values, I was raised rather conservatively. That obviously affects me, my standards and thoughts in relation to different things. As I’ve widened my world, I’ve adapted my beliefs and standards based on where I’ve been lead and shown by God and other people who I respect greatly.
One of those conservative tendencies that I was raised with is that when you get married (and deciding who you marry is another exhaustive process), the husband is the sole provider for the family. I’d always planned on working even when I’m married, but I had expectations of still being completely materialistically provided for by my husband. As ridiculous as this sounds, one of my realistic fears before Kyle and I got married was that I would end up making more money then him once I’ve gotten my degree and moved up the ladder some. That didn’t feel right to me at all! Regardless of equal responsibility that we base our finances on, the fact that I might possibly be the highest wage earner bothered me. Kyle told me I was ridiculous, but when you’ve been raised with certain expectations, it’s difficult to change them quickly, even when you know you should.
That was about 7 months ago. A couple nights ago however, I was struck with incredible knowledge! Materialistic provision isn’t what really matters (I’m not saying that living in a hole in the wall eating chips for dinner is alright), it’s the emotional, intellectual support and provision. Kyle gives me the love, devotion, care (physically and emotionally), support and all those other good things that I need on the intimate level from my provider. It wouldn’t matter to me if he was giving me a large house, fast car, life of ease if he was not providing for me emotionally. And as it stands now, with his emotional support and love, I could live in a hole in the wall eating chips for dinner and be content and happy.
Like Kyle said, money is artificial. It’s not an original element of love. I think too often money is incorporated into love. If there’s not enough money, the love isn’t allowed to be or falls apart.
It doesn’t matter to me anymore who makes the most. Kyle gives me what no other one person can, and that’s all the sole provision I desire!
4 comments:
hey dear it's chelsea
I warmly admire these sentiments. I think perhaps I disagree on a few points (not sure which ones yet), but as always, I'm with you in spirit. Come to Conor Oberst tomorrow night!!!!
OH HO and by the way, my blog is www.singtoeverysoldier.wordpress.com
Yay! I am planning on going!
And if you think of what you disagree with, holler! That might help me express things better. :-)
My parents were amazingly wealthy. . . and miserable! They had the money to do anything they wanted. . . except buy happiness. So, I agree with you (and Kyle) that money is artificial, and it's those other intangibles that make love. You may feel differently about who provides financially when you have a baby someday. Maybe. ;)
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