renewed writing

I've been feeling called back to journaling. I think this is probably the longest I've gone without writing down my deepest feelings, questions, and hopes in a blank book.

I started journaling when I was 13 (I hated the word 'diary,' it seemed so cliche and 'girly.'). I wrote pretty regularly too. There's a drawer in my sister's desk that's full of used composition books (my first choice), and nicer journals, morphing from pre-lined pages to blank pages, from large to small and back again, and from nasty handwriting to something a little more respectable and readable.

Journaling did help me get through those oh so dramatic and trying teenage years. It provided a place to spill all the messiness and cleanse my system. I can see as my maturity grew, my writing deepened, reflecting the wiser way I looked at things.

Then I met Kyle. And fell in love with Kyle! The writing increased, both in letters and emails to him, and in my journals.

But I stopped journaling about a year ago last fall. I think it was because I was trying so hard to cope and be strong, and to even journal about all I was going through was too overwhelming and weakening. There were a few entries here and there, but these were nothing more than "this is what is going on. It's terrible." There are somethings that journaling can't help you get through.

But now, when life is fully flowing again, and there's so much to contemplate and develope thoughts about, I think it's time to go back to my unlined pages and scrawl away. Make lists and write down any random thing that pops into mah leetle head withour concern for how it sounds. Things flow better too, when I write with a good pen on good paper.

Now to actually do it.....

*swoosh.